


𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 -- .- .-. -.- .... -.-- ..- -.-. -.-

by UwuSunshineMinho



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, M/M, Non-Graphic Smut, light fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:01:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24577966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UwuSunshineMinho/pseuds/UwuSunshineMinho
Summary: "ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇʏᴇꜱ, ɪ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴛᴀʏ""𝑅𝑒𝑔𝓇𝑒𝓉𝓈 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑜𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓎𝑜𝓊'𝓁𝓁 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓁 𝒾𝓃𝓈𝒾𝒹𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓇𝑜𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝓈𝑜𝓊𝓁."Breakups. It's hard. Especially for Lee Donghyuck. He had broke up with his boyfriend of 2 years, Mark Lee, and he's finding it hard to forget about him. Even when he's still with his new boyfriend -- he still seems to be thinking of his ex.*MORSE CODE SPELLS OUT MARKHYUCK BTW*
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Moon Taeil, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Kudos: 9





	1. ０．１

**[ＣＨＡＲＡＣＴＥＲＳ 唄ひミ]**

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**Lee Donghyuck**

**"I'm disgusted with myself"**

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**Mark Lee**

**"Can't help but miss him"**

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**Huang Renjun**

**"You're like a train wreck"**

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**Na Jaemin**

**"Quit being a bitch about it"**

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**Lee Jeno**

**"Can't explain for what I feel for them"**

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**Zhong Chenle**

**"Same shit, different day"**

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**Park Jisung**

**"Can't help but love him"**

***ᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜ***

**"𝑅𝑒𝑔𝓇𝑒𝓉𝓈 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑜𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓎𝑜𝓊'𝓁𝓁 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓁 𝒾𝓃𝓈𝒾𝒹𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓇𝑜𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝓈𝑜𝓊𝓁."**

**𝐵𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓊𝓅𝓈. 𝐼𝓉'𝓈 𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒹. 𝐸𝓈𝓅𝑒𝒸𝒾𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝐿𝑒𝑒 𝒟𝑜𝓃𝑔𝒽𝓎𝓊𝒸𝓀. 𝐻𝑒 𝒽𝒶𝒹 𝒷𝓇𝑜𝓀𝑒 𝓊𝓅 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒷𝑜𝓎𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝟤 𝓎𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈, 𝑀𝒶𝓇𝓀 𝐿𝑒𝑒, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒽𝑒'𝓈 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒾𝓉 𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝒽𝒾𝓂. 𝐸𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝒽𝑒'𝓈 𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑒𝓌 𝒷𝑜𝓎𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹 -- 𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓈𝑒𝑒𝓂𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑜𝒻 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝑒𝓍.**

**"ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇʏᴇꜱ, ɪ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴛᴀʏ"**

**©𝙐𝙒𝙐𝙎𝙐𝙉𝙎𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙀𝙈𝙄𝙉𝙃𝙊**

****


	2. ０．２

**[ＰＬＡＹＬＩＳＴ 陰韻泳]**

**1) Thinking Of You: Katy Perry**

**"ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇʏᴇꜱ ɪ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴛᴀʏ"**

**2) 9th Of October: Tove Lo**

**"9ᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴏᴄᴛᴏʙᴇʀ, ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴏꜰ ɪᴛ ꜱᴏʙᴇʀ 'ᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴏꜰ ɪᴛ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴ' ʜᴜʀᴛꜱ"**

**3) Bad Days: Tove Lo**

**"ɪꜰ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴇᴀꜱʏ, ɪ'ᴅ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ, ʙᴀʙʏ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀꜱᴛᴏᴏᴅ ʜᴏᴡ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ ᴏɴ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ, ᴏʜ, ɪꜰ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ, ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ"**

**4) Roulette: Katy Perry**

**"ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴛʀɪᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ɪɢɴᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʀᴜᴍʙʟᴇ"**

**5) This Time Around: Tove Lo**

**"ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ'ᴅ ʙᴇ ᴅɪꜰꜰᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ"**

**6) True Disaster: Tove Lo**

**"ɪ ꜱᴀɪᴅ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏɴ, ᴢᴇʀᴏ ꜰᴜᴄᴋꜱ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ɪᴛ. ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏɴ, ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ɢᴇᴛ ʜᴜʀᴛ"**

**7) Struggle: Tove Lo**

**"ᴄᴏʟᴅ, ᴄᴏʟᴅ, ᴄᴏʟᴅ, ᴄᴏʟᴅ ʜᴀɴᴅꜱ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴍᴇ. ꜰᴜᴄᴋ, ꜰᴜᴄᴋ, ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ꜱᴇɴꜱᴇ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ"**

**8) The Only Reason: 5SOS**

**"ʙɪᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴡᴏʀᴅꜱ ꜱᴘᴏᴋᴇɴ, ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ"**

**9) Wrapped Around Your Finger: 5SOS**

**"ꜱᴄʀᴇᴀᴍɪɴɢ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏᴘ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ʟᴜɴɢꜱ 'ᴛɪʟ ᴍʏ ᴄʜᴇꜱᴛ ꜰᴇʟᴛ ᴛɪɢʜᴛ. ɪ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ᴍʏꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʙᴇ ᴀʟʀɪɢʜᴛ"**

**10) Amnesia: 5SOS**

**"ɪ ᴡɪꜱʜ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴡᴀᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀᴍɴᴇꜱɪᴀ, ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛᴜᴘɪᴅ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ, ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ɪᴛ ꜰᴇʟᴛ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴀʟʟ ᴀꜱʟᴇᴇᴘ ɴᴇxᴛ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍᴏʀɪᴇꜱ ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴄᴀɴ ᴇꜱᴄᴀᴘᴇ, 'ᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ꜰɪɴᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ"**

**11) Never Be: 5SOS**

**"ɪ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ᴛᴇʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴀʟʀɪɢʜᴛ"**

**12) Close As Strangers: 5SOS**

**"ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴜᴘ, ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ ɪᴛ ʜᴜʀᴛꜱ ꜱᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ"**

**13) Broken Pieces: 5SOS**

**"ᴏᴜʀ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴡᴏʀᴅꜱ ʀɪɴɢɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀᴅ, ɪ ᴡɪꜱʜ ᴡᴇ'ᴅ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ᴡᴇ ꜱᴀɪᴅ"**

**14) Catch Fire: 5SOS**

**"ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴏʙᴏᴅʏ ᴋɪʟʟɪɴɢ ᴛɪᴍᴇ"**

**15) Why Won't You Love Me: 5SOS**

**"ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴅɪꜱᴀᴘᴘᴇᴀʀꜱ. ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴏʟᴅ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴇᴀʀꜱ"**

**16) When You Walk Away: 5SOS**

**"ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀʟᴋ ᴀᴡᴀʏ, ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ɪᴛ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ʙᴏɴᴇꜱ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ"**

**17) Want You Back: 5SOS**

**"ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ꜱᴀʏ ɪ ᴍᴏᴠᴇᴅ ᴏɴ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɢᴏɴᴇ ᴀʟʟ ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ɪꜱ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪ ᴡᴇɴᴛ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ"**

**18) Beside You: 5SOS**

**"ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ"**

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	3. １

**１**

**"ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇʏᴇꜱ ɪ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴛᴀʏ"**

**Donghyuck's P.O.V**

**_'I think we should break up.'_ **

**Those six words linger inside my head, ever since I said them. It's been stuck in my head for like the past two months! I mean, I really don't know why it's such a big deal, because me and Mark are no longer together. But, we were together for two years, maybe that was it. Yeah. No. Maybe. I don't know. "Hyuck, are you okay?" I hear my voice being called by my boyfriend, Taeil -- people would think I moved on way too quickly, but at least I'm not like Mark, who hasn't even moved on at all!**

**"Uh . . . y-yeah, I'm fine." I say shaking those thoughts from my head, and I placed a smile on my face**

**"You were spaced out there for a second." Taeil told me, and I turned my head to the right, and I saw Mark and my old friends sitting at their table, and I sigh softly -- after me and Mark broke up, my friends had all turned against me -- even Jisung, my baby! Well fuck them, I don't need them**

**"I'm thinking about nothing." I told him and he placed a kiss on my cheek, and I smile softly, but then frown at the thought**

**_'I think we should break up'_ **

**💔💔💔**

**I put my earbuds in my ears, and I put on a random playlist, without even looking at the title of it, and I then stopped in my tracks, when I heard the first song. I looked down at the playlist and it was the playlist me and Mark made. I groaned softly, and I turned my phone off, and took my earbuds out. Well that just ruined my mood. I walked over to the bus stop, and I saw one of my old friends standing there -- Na Jaemin . . . shit! "Donghyuck." Jaemin greeted not even in the mood to talk to me**

**"Jaemin." I greeted back, as I leaned against the bench of the bus stop**

**"So, Donghyuck, I have a question for you-" Jaemin says and he looked over at me "- why did you break up with Mark?" Jaemin asked and I look at him**

**"We just fell out of love, there's no reason for us breaking up." I tell him**

**"If you both fell out of love, it would be a mutual break up, but your ass, straight up dumped him." Jaemin snapped and I looked over at him**

**"Fine! I fell out of love with him! There, happy?" I snapped back and I crossed my arms over my chest**

**"No, I'm not happy. I'm pissed. I'm pretty pissed, that three days after you and Mark broke up, you already had gotten yourself another guy. In my opinion, that's pretty fucked up." Jaemin says and I scoffed**

**"It's called moving on, Jaemin. Mark should know that." I say**

**"No. It's called being a fuckboy." Jaemin says, and I see the bus pull up, but I was not in the mood to get on the bus anymore, "Donghyuck, Mark loved you . . . so much. And you ripped his heart out of his chest, and stomped over it. Mark will never move on, even if it kills him." Jaemin says, and stood up from the bench and he walked over to the doors of the bus, and he looked back at me "Oh and Donghyuck, quit being a bitch about this." Jaemin sneered and he walked in the bus, and I was just standing there in pure and utter shock**

**"You gonna get on, kid?" The bus driver asked, pulling me out of my shock. I shook my head and waved my hand over**

**"No. I'm good. I'll walk home." I say to him, and I just realized -- it's gonna take me an hour to get back home. The bus driver shrugged, closed the doors, and drove off. I sighed and I rubbed my hands over my face "Shit." I mumbled. How in the hell am I gonna get home? Because there is no way in HELL I'm walking for an hour. Who do I know that's got their license? No one. All of my old friends rode the bus, everyone except for . . . Mark. No. No. I'm not calling him. Maybe, Taeil can pick me up. He has his license. I went over to my contacts and I scrolled and scrolled, and I stopped, and I looked over the contact that was there**

**'Markie🍉'**

**I rub my finger over the screen as I saw his contact photo, which was him with glasses on -- one of my favorite photos of him. God, I still have the photos me and him took together on my phone. I want to get rid of them -- but I just can't bring myself to do it. I just can't. It's like something is stopping me. "Ahhh, what are you doing Lee Donghyuck?" I ask myself while patting my face, bringing myself out whatever was happening. Ugh. I'll just walk home. I need the exercise anyway.**

**💔💔💔**

***MIDNIGHT***

**It was now after midnight, and I was finishing up some homework, and last minute essay's. Ugh, I really wished I stopped procrastinating. Mark always reminded me to do my work so I would procrastinate. But, now I just have to remind myself. Why am I even thinking of this. Me and Mark are broken up. Done. Finished. History. But why do I keep thinking of everything we used to do? Oh haha, right today would've been our third year anniversary. No wonder. I put down the last punctuation down on my essay, and I cheered and I stood up from my seat "Woohoo! I'm finished, now I can text Mark --" I stopped myself when I said Mark's name, and I slowly made my way back down into my chair. What the hell am I doing? I put my head down on my desk, and I sighed softly. I raised my head a little bit, and I looked up to see the full moon out tonight. I heard my phone buzz, and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. Who is up after midnight? I grabbed my phone, and I saw it was a text I had. I open my phone and I saw it was a text from someone so shocking**

**'Markie🍉: Donghyuck can we talk?'**

**The only words I had running through my head right now, as I read his text was**

**_'I think we should break up.'_ **

**A/N**

**Here's chapter 1 of my new Markhyuck story!!**

**This story is gonna be updated with two chapters every Saturday, so another chapter is gonna be uploaded today, and that's it.**

**This story will involve: HEAVY ANGST, LIGHT FLUFF, DEPRESSION, SOME MATURE CONTENT *OOP TEA I NEVER WRITE SMUT KUMBAYA MY LORD!*, ANXIETY, AND SUICIDE ATTEMPTS**

**Oh and Birthday Happy to our fullsun Haechan!!! 20 years old wow!! I'll be 17 in August and I'm just like w a h!**

**And I totally forgot that it's been five years since I've been on Wattpad -- somehow I always forget . . . every year haha**

**Oh and before I forget Donghyuck's favorite picture of Mark is this one:**

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**DON'T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!**

***UPDATE JUNE 7TH: I WAS SUPPOSED TO PUBLISH THIS YESTERDAY, BUT THERE WAS A CAR CRASH THAT ALSO ENDED UP RIGHT INTO A DEATH, RIGHT ACROSS FROM MY HOUSE -- SO I WAS A LITTLE TRAUMATIZED***

**[RAELEE]**


	4. ２

**２**

**"9ᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴏᴄᴛᴏʙᴇʀ, ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴏꜰ ɪᴛ ꜱᴏʙᴇʀ 'ᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴏꜰ ɪᴛ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴ' ʜᴜʀᴛꜱ"**

**Mark’s P.O.V**

**“Are you out of your motherfucking mind?” Renjun asked the first thing when I sat down in my seat. It’s 7:30am, I have no time and patience to deal with this anger.**

**“What are you talking about?” I ask him**

**“Texting your ex! No one texts their ex, asking if they can talk, if they broke up with you.” Renjun says to me and I shook my head -- wait how did he even know I texted Donghyuck last night?**

**“How did you know that?” I asked him and he widened his eyes, and he took a sip of his juice. The only person I told I texted Donghyuck was . . . Jisung. I turned my head towards Jisung and he was smiling awkwardly “I asked you to keep it a secret, Jisung.” I say to him and he laughed nervously**

**“Hehe, you really shouldn’t trust me with secrets.” Jisung says**

**“Obviously.” I say and Chenle glared at me**

**“Don’t give my baby that attitude.” Chenle says and he hugged Jisung tightly, and I just furrowed my eyebrows**

**“Guys, it’s 7:30 in the morning, do I really need a lecture?” I ask**

**“Yeah. Here’s a question. Why in the fuck, do you still have his number?” Renjun asked**

**“Can’t bring myself to delete it. Who knows, he might come back to me. I’ve got hope. I’ve got hope in my fullsun.” I say with a small sad smile on my face**

**“Oh my god, you’re like a trainwreck.” Renjun says and I glared at him and Jeno hit him on his arm, and Renjun looked at him**

**“Would you calm down?” Jeno asked him**

**“What? I’m just spitting facts, the only one who agrees with me is your boyfriend.” Renjun says and him and Jeno looked over at Jaemin, and he was just staring at them both of them**

**“Well, Jaemin, do you agree with him?” Jeno asked Jaemin and Jaemin sighed**

**“I’m gonna abstain.” Jaemin retorts**

**“You can’t abstain! You gotta answer: yes or no.” Renjun exclaimed**

**“That is my answer.” Jaemin says and he stood up from his spot and he walked off and out of the cafeteria.**

**“Great. You two buffoons just ran off the person who was supposed to give me and Jisung food.” Chenle says and he stood up, and he held out his hand for Jisung to take, and Jisung took it and they both walked off, and I just rolled my eyes**

**“Can you two just leave this situation alone? It’s not a big deal.” I say**

**“Not a big deal? Mark, do you not remember how Donghyuck literally dumped you in front of everyone and how he didn’t even look like he regretted it --” Renjun says but Jeno stopped him**

**“I think he gets it, Junnie.” Jeno told him, and I felt the tears well up in my eyes, and I sniffled and I stood up**

**“Yeah. I do remember it. I’ll always have that memory in my head. I’ll never forget it.” I said to him and I just walked away from the table -- and I had passed Donghyuck’s table, and I saw he was sitting with his new boyfriend, and I felt my heart just crumble into pieces at the sight. How dare he? He got to move on so quickly, while I’m here, still not even over him. He moved on. He moved on, way too quickly -- quicker than any normal person would. Did he really not love me enough to the point he got a new boyfriend, in like three days?**

**Donghyuck’s P.O.V**

**I saw Mark walk by my table, and I saw the tears glistening in his eyes, and I saw how disappointed he looked when he walked by me and Taeil. I sighed as he shook his head and picked up the pace of his movement.**

**“Hey, baby, do you think that you should go and talk with Mark?” Taeil asked me and I turned my head to him**

**“Why would I go and “talk with him”?” I ask Taeil**

**“Well, because he looks upset, it’s the least you can do.” Taeil told me and I shook my head**

**“I’m the last person, he wants to see right now, Taeil.” I tell him, and I looked back over to where Mark had walked out, and I sighed**

**“Besides, we have to go to class.” I said and I stood up and so did Taeil, and we both started walking out of the cafeteria, and I could feel a pair of eyes on us, and I turned my head slightly, and I saw Jeno and Renjun staring at us -- hmm wonder where the others went.**

**💔💔💔**

**Mark’s P.O.V**

**It was the 9th of October. The day where my whole world shattered. The day the love of my life left me. The day where I lost my sunshine. The day where the world stopped turning. What did I do to make him break up with me? What happened? We were happy. Was I not enough for him? I was sitting outside on the concrete behind the school, just trying to calm myself down from the literal PANIC ATTACK I got when I passed Donghyuck and his new boyfriend. I sighed and went over to my gallery, and I saw the first thing that was in there -- the last video I took of Donghyuck before we broke up. The date was June 6th -- Donghyuck’s birthday. I know I shouldn’t do this -- I know I shouldn’t put myself through so much pain, but I have to see the time where we were really happy. I just have to. I pressed play on the video and the first thing I saw was Donghyuck’s beautiful smile**

**_“What’s this for?” Donghyuck asked_ **

**_“Eh, just wanted to get a video of the beautiful birthday boy.” I say to him and he laughed and rolled his eyes_ **

**_“You’re ridiculous.” He laughed and I chuckled_ **

**_“What, I just wanted a video of you -- appreciate it.” I joked and he smiled_ **

**_“I appreciate it. But this video better come out in HD.” Donghyuck says in a serious voice, and I laughed_ **

**_“Now look who’s being ridiculous.” I say_ **

**_“Mark, I’m serious!” Donghyuck whined and I just shook my head, as he pouted_ **

**_“Does the birthday boy need a hug?” I ask and he nodded -- it looked like he just wanted a hug for the fun of it. Donghyuck walked over to me, and he hugged me tightly, and I raised my phone a little bit higher, so now I was in the frame._ **

**_“This is what happens when I’m gone for so long -- the sunshine goes dim.” I say and he punched me softly and I chuckled_ **

**_“I hate it, when you’re gone for so long.” Donghyuck told me, and I leaned my cheek on the top of his head_ **

**_“Well, I’m not going anywhere, for a long time.” I tell him, and he looked up at me with these big and hopeful eyes_ **

**_“Really?” He asked and I nodded and smiled_ **

**_“Really.” I answer and he smiled brightly and he hugged me tightly, and I smile softly_ **

**_“I love my Markie. I love my Markie so much.” Donghyuck says and I smiled softly_ **

**_“I love my Donghyuckie as well.” I confess “Alright, my phone is about to die, we need to cut this video short.” I tell Donghyuck and he then let go of me, and leaned up and placed a kiss on my lips, seconds before I ended the video_ **

**I didn’t realize there were tears streaming down my face, when I was watching the video, until I saw little water drops on my hand, and my phone screen. Oh my god that was the worst decision I’ve ever made in my life. Sometimes, I just want to go over and delete the video from my phone, and delete all the photos I have of Donghyuck -- most of them being selfies he took in my phone. But I can’t. I just can’t. I love them too much. I love him. I also really love him too much. I wiped away my excess tears, and I shut my phone off, and stood up from the ground. What am I really going to do with my life? Should I start to move on from Donghyuck? Should I move on like he did?**

**A/N**

**Here’s chapter 2!!!**

**Wahh this is sad!!**

**I was supposed to have this up on Saturday, and I’m sorry for that, but there was a car crash which led into a death, right across the street from my house, and I was pretty just -- shocked from it, and I was so tired, so I went to bed after it was all over.**

**New chapters: June 13th**

**DON’T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!**

**[RAELEE]** ****


	5. ３

**３**

**"ɪꜰ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴇᴀꜱʏ, ɪ'ᴅ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ, ʙᴀʙʏ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀꜱᴛᴏᴏᴅ ʜᴏᴡ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ ᴏɴ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ, ᴏʜ, ɪꜰ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ, ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ"**

**Donghyuck’s P.O.V**

**I don’t really think anyone knows, hard life was, when I was with Mark. I mean don’t get me wrong, being with Mark felt like I was up in the clouds. It’s just -- I don’t know. I think I’m making up excuses. I am making excuses! I can’t even find a bad memory I had when I was with Mark. Ugh!**

**I hear knocking on my bedroom door, and I look up from my laptop and I let out a small “Come in” and the door opens to reveal my mother. Oh god, my mom doesn’t know me and Mark broke up. Yeah, I’ve been hiding that me and Mark broke up for two months. I just don’t know how to tell my mom. She loves -- or loved us together.**

**“Honey? Hey. I was just wondering, when you were going to bring Mark back over. I miss the cute baby lion.” Mom says and I sighed sadly -- how am I gonna tell her?**

**“I - I - Mom, me and Mark are not together anymore.” I tell her softly, and she widened her eyes**

**“What? Why? What happened?” She asked in worrisome, and that what makes me feel bad.**

**“We just . . . fell out of love.” I lied. I can’t tell her that I was the one who broke up with him.**

**“Oh, sweetheart. If you need anything, just come talk to me.” Mom told me and I nodded with a smile on my face**

**“Will do.” I replied and she smiled, and placed a kiss on my forehead**

**“I love you, my little sunshine.” She says, and I smiled**

**“I love you too.” I told her, and she gave me a pat on the head before she walked out of my room and I sighed. What the hell am I going to do about this?**

**I opened my computer again, and I saw there was this folder that was on my backdrop -- why did I still have a picture of us as my backdrop? The picture was taken by Renjun, and I had said something funny -- well funny for Mark because he was laughing at me while the picture was being taken.**

**But back to the folder. The folder said: ‘My love’. Wait. Is this the folder that I had made for Mark when I took some random videos of him. I opened the folder, and I was greeted with tons upon tons of videos.**

**I clicked on one of the videos and I was greeted by face, checking to see if the camera was working properly**

**_“Alright, just checking to see if this thing is working.” I say pointing the camera at myself to see if it was working, once I saw the red dot, I knew it was working. I turned the camera over to Mark and he covered his face with his hands, and I laughed_ **

**_“What?” I ask him_ **

**_“Do you really have to film me?” Mark asked me and I frowned_ **

**_“What am I just supposed to film myself?” I ask him_ **

**_“Yeah.” Mark answered like it was obvious_ **

**_“The whole point for me to make this folder on my computer, is to film you. You big child.” I tell him and he groaned, and he uncovered his face and I smiled_ **

**_“There’s the most beautiful person in my life.” I say and Mark crossed his arms_ **

**_“Are you sure you’re not talking about yourself?” Mark asked me and I scoff_ **

**_“Well I was talking about you, but now that you said that; yes, I was talking about me.” I say and Mark ran over to me, and he lifted me off the ground, and I held on to this camera for dear life_ **

**_“Tell me that I’m beautiful.” Mark demands_ **

**_“You had your chance.” I say laughing and he started moving around, and I held on to him tightly -- and the camera_ **

**_“Alright, you’re beautiful! Just stop moving before I drop this camera.” I say to him and he smiled, and I moved the camera a little bit outwards, so both of us were in the frame, and Mark placed a quick kiss on my cheek, and I smiled softly and Mark placed his cheek against mine, and he smiled so brightly and widely, and I smile one last time, and I turned off the camera_ **

**Wow. That was the first video that was in this folder. Why am I feeling so emotional about it? I mean I was the one who broke up with Mark. I sighed softly, and I closed the folder, as another video had begun to play, where Mark was laying on my chest, and he was on his phone, and I had just to get a video of this cute moment.**

**💔💔💔**

**“Whoa~~ Donghyuck you look like crap.” I heard the sound of Jeno’s voice and he was laughing at the same time, so I just gave him the middle finger, which caused him to laugh more. Ugh. My life has turned to shit has it?**

**“Donghyuck, looks like a trainwreck.” A voice says and I just tried to block everything out. When me and Mark broke up, everyone turned against me -- the people also being my best friends.**

**But I guess, I deserve this. It’s fine. It’s fine. Everything is fine.**

**As I was walking down the hallway, trying to block out everything, I saw Mark standing by his locker, and he had this worried look on his face. Oh god. Don’t feel bad for me. We’re broke up, you idiot.**

**“Are you okay, Donghyuck?” Mark asked me and I look over at him**

**“I’m fine.” I tell him in an harsh voice and he took notice of that tone of voice I used**

**“W-well -- I-I --” Mark stammered and I groaned**

**“Mark, I have no time for this, I need to get going.” I told him, and I walked off from him, and I just felt confused about this whole thing that was going on in my chest and in my stomach. Ugh. What the hell is happening?**

**A/N**

**Here’s chapter 3!!!**

**I was supposed to have this up yesterday, but me n my mother watched another movie yesterday haha!!**

**So it’s like my mom’s birthday today, but it’s also Taeil’s birthday as well!!**

**Happy 48th birthday to my mom and happy 26th birthday to Taeil!!**

**DON’T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!**

**[RAELEE]**


	6. ４

****

**４**

**"ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴛʀɪᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ɪɢɴᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʀᴜᴍʙʟᴇ"**

**Donghyuck’s P.O.V**

**_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_ **

**I groaned, slamming my hand over my alarm clock. I opened my eyes, to be blinded by the bright sun that was shining through my dark curtains.**

**I looked at the time on my clock, and it read ‘6:40 AM’.**

**Ugh, I slept through my ‘6:30’ alarm. I have a tendency to sleep through my alarms, so I’m almost always late to school, so every ten minutes, I set an alarm.**

**It’s amazing that I woke up to the second alarm, and not at the fourth or fifth one.**

**I rolled out of my bed, not even bothering to make it, and I went over to my dresser, and grabbed some random clothes out.**

**After I finished getting dressed, and getting myself presentable, I just stared at myself in the mirror. Wow. How did you become the biggest mess in the world? How did one breakup make you look so fucked?**

**“Ugh~~ Don’t even think about the breakup, Lee Donghyuck.” I tell myself**

**💔💔💔**

**I was at my locker, putting my books back in it, and I sighed. Today has gone really bad. I really don’t know what happened today, but it’s just going bad. People stare at me like I’m a disease. It’s because I broke up with Mark, I just know it. But, why did everyone have to turn against me because I just broke up with him? Why do I have to be the enemy here?**

**I closed my locker, and I was about to walk out of the school; seeing as I was the only one in here . . . or so I thought.**

**“Donghyuck?” I hear a voice call, and I stop dead in my tracks**

**It’s Mark.**

**I really don’t want to talk to him right now. I mean after what happened the other day, I’m surprised that he’s even daring to talk to me again. I’m just surprised.**

**I slowly turned around to see him standing a few feet away from me, and he looked about as awful as I am. Just he looked awful for a good reason. But for some reason, he still looked as beautiful as he does.**

**Ahh, Lee Donghyuck, don’t fall for his beautiful looks, you have a boyfriend, don’t mess this relationship up, like you mess everything up!**

**“What do you want Mark?” I ask him quietly**

**“I just want to talk to you.” Mark told me and I scoffed**

**“We’re way beyond talking aren’t we?” I ask him and he sighed**

**“I know. But, I just wanted to talk to you.” Mark says determined and I sighed -- I can’t talk with him, I don’t want to hurt him, more than I already did.**

**“There’s nothing to talk about.” I say to him, and I went to walk off, and when I made my first two steps, his voice stopped me**

**“Why did you leave me?” Mark’s small voice asked**

**Oh god. Oh god.**

**I turned to face him and I sighed**

**“You really can’t blame me. You could only blame yourself for falling for me.” I told him, and I walked off, and I could tell he looked very hurt by what I said, and even I felt hurt at what I said.**

**Ah, great job, Donghyuck you fucked up again!**

**💔💔💔**

**I spun my pencil around my fingers, as I just looked at my bazillion essays I had to finish. I just couldn’t help but think of the words I told Mark earlier today**

**_‘You really can’t blame me. You could only blame yourself for falling for me’_ **

**God, what the hell is wrong with me?**

**How fucked up can I be, to say that shit?**

**I just kept thinking and thinking and thinking to the point where I was overthinking and I accidentally just snapped my pencil in half. I groaned and I threw my pencil -- well pieces of pencil -- somewhere else.**

**I put my hands over my face and I just groaned. Why did I have to do that? Ah, goddammit!**

**I hear my phone go off, and I remove my hands from my face, and I grab my phone to see it was text from . . . Mark. Oh god.**

**‘Markie🍉: Hyuck, I know you probably don’t want to text or call you, but I just wanted to let you know that I won’t bother you anymore.’**

**I sigh shakily -- this is not what I wanted. Am I starting to regret breaking up with him?**

**A/N**

**Here’s chapter 4!!!**

**Okay my monitor actually died on Tuesday and I got a new one yesterday, which was right on time for the new schedule weekend chapters!**

**I actually have the rest of Tuesday’s, Wednesday’s, Thursday’s, and Friday’s that I’m gonna do between today, tomorrow, and Monday.**

**DON’T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!**

**[RAELEE]**


	7. ５

****

**５**

**"ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ'ᴅ ʙᴇ ᴅɪꜰꜰᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ"**

**Donghyuck’s P.O.V**

***ONE YEAR LATER***

**Well, Mark sure kept his word of not wanting to bother me anymore. For the rest of the school year last year, he never once said a word to me, it’s like we’ve become strangers.**

**I mean, I did tell him a plain ‘alright’ in the text he sent. I think I’m an idiot.**

**“Senior year, here we come.” I mutter to myself**

**I’m completely alone at this point of my life now, me and Taeil broke up a couple of months ago -- he won’t talk to me.**

**I have no friends to talk to. My parents literally wouldn’t understand that I’m a screw up.**

**I walked up to the big hell-like building slowly because I feel like my legs are going to give away.**

**I opened the door, with shaky hands, and I took a good look inside the big hell hole building, and oh my god.**

**Everything looked different from the last time I was here. I don’t know how that’s possible, because it’s only been three months since we’ve last been here.**

**I think it looks different to me, because this time, I’m alone. I always walked in with someone.**

**I walked over to my locker and I opened it, and I stashed some of the books in there, and I closed it. I turn my head over to see if I can see anyone to hang out with, and my eyes made it over to my . . . old friends, and ex boyfriend, talking and laughing with each other, and I just felt my heart just break, because I know they’re happy without me, hell maybe this whole world will be happy with me.**

**Will it?**

**Maybe, I should try to rekindle with them. Maybe they would like me again. Maybe I would like myself again.**

**Maybe . . .**

**I took a deep breath, and I shook the shaky feelings out of my hands and I put on my brave smile “You can do this, Lee Donghyuck.” I told myself, and I went to walk over to them, but sadly they just walked off when they made eye contact with me.**

**I felt my eyes water up, and I felt my lips just start to tremble. Oh god, I really fucked up did I?**

**My tears pooled over my eyes, and they rolled down my cheeks, and I just wanted to just drift away from the scene.**

**Nothing like crying on the first day of school, how embarrassing!**

**Mark’s P.O.V**

**I looked back to Donghyuck, and I just felt my heart just break at how he was trying so hard to hold in his tears, but it was no use, his tears just fell as he was standing in the middle of the hallway, with people just walking past him giving him weird looks as to why he was crying, and that made me just feel awful.**

**God, I hate it when Donghyuck cries. It just makes me want to go up to him and just hold on to him tightly because he needs to be protected.**

**Ugh, I need to stop thinking of this, because me and him are no longer together. We haven’t even been together for a year. So why am I still caring for him?**

**Oh god, I can’t still love him can I?**

**💔💔💔**

**Donghyuck’s P.O.V**

**I was just sitting at the lunch table -- alone, since that’s where I should be. Alone. No one will ever probably talk to me ever again, once they figure out that me and Taeil broke up. Oh god, I feel like I’m gonna die from a broken heart. As ridiculous as it sounds -- it’s true. People can die from a broken heart.**

**I take my phone out of my pocket, and I looked at my wallpaper, and it was still Mark -- I really just couldn’t change it. I couldn’t.**

**I unlocked my phone, and I went to my gallery, which was just full of me and Mark. There are barely any pictures of me and Taeil in my phone -- maybe in his phone, but not in my phone.**

**I scroll through my gallery, and I just felt my heart just continue to break and break as I look at the happy faces of two boys -- but sadly they are no longer happy.**

**I didn’t notice I was crying until I saw the drops of water on my phone screen. I sniffled and I wiped away my tears, locked my phone, and I stood up and I walked off leaving my lunch in the same spot.**

**Mark’s P.O.V**

**I saw Donghyuck leave the cafeteria, leaving his lunch, that looked like it hadn't even been touched, and that made me sad. I hope he’s not starving himself, he’s beautiful, inside and out, even though he broke up with me last year, I can’t even bring myself to hate him. No matter how much I want to -- I can’t.**

**“I feel bad for Donghyuck.” Jisung speaks up and we all look at him**

**“I mean, he’s all alone, and he has no one to hang out with him, since the whole school hates him.” Jisung continued**

**“Well, what about his boyfriend?” Jaemin asked**

**“I actually heard they broke up.” Jeno states, and I just felt my heart just break a little bit**

**He’s all alone?**

**“Well that’s not surprising, I’m sure they didn’t have any chemistry to begin with.” Renjun says taking a bite of his food**

**“What about you Mark?” Chenle says and I look up at him**

**“What about me?” I ask him**

**“How do you feel about this?” He asked me and I sighed**

**“I feel pretty bad for him, I know that he broke up with me, but I can’t hate him, the only thing I can do is feel bad for him.” I say, to him, and the rest of them just stared at me, with this look of sympathy.**

**I should’ve just talked with Donghyuck, even though I said I wasn’t going to do that anymore, and even though he said, alright, I should’ve just talked with him anyway.**

**If anything I’m the reason that he’s like this.**

**This is all my fault.**

**A/N**

**Here’s chapter 5!!!**

**Wahhh, big time skip!**

**I didn’t intend there would be a timeskip but it seemed like it would be a good idea.**

**Also sorry for the lack of updates, I got really distracted and I had stomach problems last week, so updates are going to be coming back . . . slowly, but surely!**

**Also this story is now going to be on Wednesdays instead of Saturdays**

**This is Donghyuck’s wallpaper that I was talking about**

****

**DON’T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!**

**[RAELEE]**


	8. ６

**６**

**"ɪ ꜱᴀɪᴅ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏɴ, ᴢᴇʀᴏ ꜰᴜᴄᴋꜱ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ɪᴛ. ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏɴ, ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ɢᴇᴛ ʜᴜʀᴛ"**

**Donghyuck’s P.O.V**

**“Hey, sweetie, what’s up with you?” Mom asked me as I was sitting on my bed, on my computer looking at the pictures and videos of me and Mark, and just feeling depressed and hating the world. I still don’t feel like I can tell her the real reason why me and Mark broke up -- hell I didn’t even tell her about what happened with me and Taeil; she didn’t even know about Taeil.**

**I hate lying to my mom. It’s so awful. Because she actually cares for me. But I just don’t think she’ll understand because I did something so bad. So bad, that I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me.**

**“Umm, I’m fine. I’m just kinda tired.” I answered her and she sighed**

**“You seem to be tired a lot these days. I hope you’re fine. You should go and hang out with Renjun, Jaemin, Jeno, and Chenle and Jisung -- what happened to those boys? You guys were inseparable.” Mom comments and I sighed shakily -- this was the question I was scared of.**

**“They are busy.” I tell her and she nodded**

**“Alright. Well, whenever you want to talk. I’m always here.” She told me and she walked off and I sighed shakily, as I looked over to the video that I was stopped and paused at. Mark was looking at me with this such love in his eyes, and I just feel so awful -- this is all my fault. All my fault. I’m disgusted with myself.**

**💔💔💔**

**Mark’s P.O.V**

**“You’re gonna have a party? Seriously?” I ask Jaemin and he smiles and nodded**

**“Hell yeah! We’re seniors now, and you know that seniors throw awesome parties.” Jaemin says and I chuckled and shook my head**

**“Yeah, and those seniors are the popular ones -- if you look around you, no one else besides us are sitting at this table.” Renjun says and I looked around us, and he’s right only the six of us were sitting at this table**

**“Yeah, but still, when people hear the word, “party” they go absolutely bat shit crazy.” Jeno says and I could only agree with that**

**“Yeah, that’s true.” I say and I look over to see Donghyuck sitting on his own . . . like he’s been doing for the past two weeks.**

**“I think we should invite, Donghyuck.” I say**

**“What? Why?” Jaemin asked and I sighed**

**“He’s been on his own for the past two weeks, and I think it’ll do him good, to actually be out with people.” I explained and Chenle and Jisung agreed**

**“Yeah, maybe he’ll meet someone.” Chenle says and I felt myself tense up -- I really hope he doesn’t meet anyone at the party.**

**“Fine.” Jaemin says and I smiled softly -- maybe this will help all seven of us get back together with one another -- I mean we’re still friends, but it just isn’t the same without Donghyuck.**

**💔💔💔**

**Donghyuck’s P.O.V**

**I decided to walk home today. Screw the bus. People on the bus would probably just give me scowls, and just talk a whole bunch of crap about me to my face. That’s what I hate the most. If you want to talk shit, don’t talk shit about someone when they’re right in front of you. “Donghyuck?” I hear a voice call my name, and I freeze from the familiarity of the voice. Oh god. It’s Mark. I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t think I can.**

**I look over to him and I see he’s driving his car near the sidewalk I was on, and he was driving slowly, I noticed that there were no cars behind him, so he would be fine.**

**“What do you want, Mark?” I ask him trying not to make eye contact with him**

**“So, Jaemin is having a party on Friday, and I was wondering if you wanted to come.” Mark told me and I stopped dead in my tracks.**

**_A party?_ ** **I thought**

**“Umm, no thanks.” I declined**

**“Come on, Donghyuck, it’ll be fun.” Mark tried to say to me and I sighed and I looked over to him, and I walked over to the passenger window that was open and leaned down to look at him**

**“If you think a party is going to make all seven of us friends again, then you’re dead wrong.” I say to him**

**“That’s not what I was trying to do. I just want you there. And if you don’t like it, you can leave early, but just try to come to it.” Mark told me and I sighed -- if this party is awful, I can always leave.**

**“I’ll think about it.” I say to him and he smiled at me, and he then drove off and I sighed**

**I’m so gonna get hurt, if I go to this party. I just know it.**

**A/N**

**Here’s chapter 6!!!**

**Oooooh, something is going to happen in the next chapter that I don’t know how to feel about for the rest of my life haha!!**

**I feel so fucking tired idk why I get so much sleep, but I still feel tired -- ugh.**

**DON’T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!**

**[RAELEE]**


	9. ７

**７**

**"ᴄᴏʟᴅ, ᴄᴏʟᴅ, ᴄᴏʟᴅ, ᴄᴏʟᴅ ʜᴀɴᴅꜱ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴍᴇ. ꜰᴜᴄᴋ, ꜰᴜᴄᴋ, ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ꜱᴇɴꜱᴇ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ"**

**Donghyuck’s P.O.V**

**⚠LIGHT SMUT AHEAD (BUT IT’S SO TINY THAT A WARNING DOESN’T MATTER)⚠**

**Ugh, I feel like I’m making a huge mistake with this. Why did I agree to go to this party? Oh right, just to please Mark. Why does it matter if I make Mark happy? I mean we haven’t been together for like a year now.**

**This is so stupid.**

**I opened the door to Jaemin’s house, and holy crap! There were a lot of people here. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many people in Jaemin’s house before. Come to think of it, I have never seen this many people in Jaemin’s house before.**

**“Hey, Donghyuck, you made it!” I hear Mark yell to me through the loud music**

**“Yeah, but I really don’t want to be here!” I yell back crossing my arms and he sighed**

**“Come on, Donghyuck, stay for at least a couple of hours, then you can leave.” Mark told me and I sighed and nodded**

**“Fine.” I tell him and he smiled and goddamn that smile, that cure any disease**

**“Okay! There’s refreshments in the kitchen, and I hope you have a great time.” Mark says happily and I nodded and he smiled and he skipped off somewhere and I sighed**

**Well here goes nothing.**

**Mark’s P.O.V**

**I walked back over to the guys and they were all drinking out of red plastic cups that contained some kind of alcohol, I couldn’t tell, but it was actually really good!**

**I could actually feel myself getting a little tipsy**

**“Is Donghyuck here?” Jaemin asked as he took a sip of his drink and I nodded**

**“Yeppp! He’s here!” I say excitedly and the others have taken notice of that**

**“Jesus Christ, Mark, how many cups have you had?” Jeno asked me and I tried to think of it -- how many cups have I had?**

**I honestly don-’t know.**

**“I uh I don’t know.” I confessed and Renjun rolled his eyes**

**“This is why we don’t let him drink. Because when he does, he overdoes it and doesn’t remember how many he’s had.” Renjun groaned**

**“Yeah, he’s drunk.” Jisung says and I shook my head**

**“I’m not that . . . what was it?” I ask and Chenle facepalmed**

**“See he’s drunk.” Chenle says and I rolled my eyes**

**“Whatever, I’m gonna go party, and try to forget that my life is a trainwreck.” I say and they nodded**

**“Yeah, you do that.” Jaemin says and I smiled and I then skipped down to the crowd**

**💔💔💔**

**Donghyuck’s P.O.V**

***ONE HOUR LATER*** **  
** **I’ve been here for an hour, drinking whatever the fuck was in this cup, and to be honest, I’m still kind of hating this party. I told myself that I was leaving like half an hour ago, but I remember that I promised Mark that I would stay here for like an hour or two.**

**Wait, why the hell did I promise him that?**

**UGH!**

**“Donghyuck~~~” Ah, speak of the devil. I hear my name being called by the one and only Mark Lee.**

**God, why can’t he just leave me alone?**

**I turned to look at him and holy crap, he looked wasted.**

**“What do you want, Mark?” I ask**

**“I wanted to talk to you.” He slurred and he walked up to me and leaned against my ear “Alone.” He whispered, and I felt shivers go down my spine when he used that tone -- what the hell does he think he’s doing?**

**Maybe he actually wants to talk to me.**

**But I don’t want to talk to him when he’s drunk.**

**“Fine.” I told him and he smiled and he took a hold of my hand and he began to lead me up the stairs to somewhere.**

**What the hell is he doing?**

**Mark opened the door, and I walked in, and he walked inside as well, and he shut the door and I sighed**

**“Okay, Mark, what did you want to talk about--” I began to ask but I was cut off by him slamming his lips to mine, and he pushed himself against me, which caused myself to lose my balance and fall on the bed.**

**WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!**

**I pull back from him and I sat up and he sat on my lap looking pretty disappointed that I interrupted the makeout session he was going for**

**“What the hell are you doing? I thought you were going to talk to me.” I tell him and he shrugged**

**“Eh, I changed my mind.” Mark told me and he slammed his lips against mine again, and he pinned my hands to my side, so I couldn’t basically push him off**

**I don’t want to be doing this, but at the same time I’ve missed how his lips felt against mine, I just missed that feeling.**

**I feel his lips move over to my neck and he went down all the way to my collarbones, and I was enjoying the sensual feelings -- until I got remembered of something**

**_FLASHBACK_ **

**_I really don’t know how to tell him this. Oh god, Mark, I’m so sorry._ **

**_“Mark.” I say and he looked at me with this sweet little smile and that made my heart just break a little. Oh god, don’t give me that smile, you’re making this harder!_ **

**_“I uh I think we should break up.” I say to him and I saw how he looked so confused by what I said_ **

**_“Very funny, Donghyuck.” He laughed and I sighed softly and I stayed silent, and he took my silence to me being serious_ **

**_“Wait, you’re being serious?” Mark asked me and I saw some tears welling up in his eyes, and I nodded_ **

**_“Yeah, I’m serious.” I tell him and I look around to see some people looking at us -- ugh why do people always have to witness this stuff?_ **

**_“What did I do? I promise whatever I did, I’ll fix it, just please please don’t break up with me.” Mark begged, holding on to my arm, and I sighed softly, not meeting his teary eyes_ **

**_“I’m sorry, Mark, I just don’t love you anymore.” I say to him, which is a fucking lie, I still love him! I just can’t forgive myself for what I did_ **

**_“That’s bullshit, you told me you loved me a couple of days ago.” Mark cried and I sighed -- I’m sorry Mark_ **

**_“Well I lied.” I say and I scrunch my face up at the biggest lie I’ve ever told!_ **

**_“So you played with my feelings then? You don’t actually love me? Did you even love me at all?” He asked me and I sighed softly -- I don’t know how to stop myself -- oh god I’m sorry._ **

**_“No.” I tell him, and I felt him release the grip off my arm and I slowly looked up at him, and I just see buckets and buckets of tears rolling down his face, and I did all it took for me to not release any tears_ **

**_“Mark, I--” I began to say but he cut me off_ **

**_“Go.” Mark says with a emotionless voice but I still can hear the tears in his voice_ **

**_“But --” I start to say but he cut me off again_ **

**_“Just go.” Mark told me and I nodded and I began to walk off, and as I walked I heard him start sobbing, while I let down a few tears -- I’m so sorry, Mark._ **

**FLASHBACK OVER**

**This can’t happen. No matter how much I want it to happen. It can’t. I tried to push Mark off me, but I totally forgot he pinned my hands to the side, so I used my foot to push him off of me and he about landed on his ass, but he caught himself, and he looked at me confused “What’s wrong?” Mark asked me**

**“This can’t happen, Mark.” I whisper to him**

**“I know, but we’re not even together anymore, so it won’t mean anything.” Mark told me, and I scoffed softly, oh god how you are wrong.**

**It might not mean anything for you, but goddammit, it would mean something for me!**

**Mark then sat back down next to me, and he pressed his lips against mine, but I pushed him back and I felt tears well up in my eyes**

**“Mark, I’m serious, we can’t.” I tell him and he looked more confused and starting to get a little irritated**

**“What’s with you? Like a minute ago, you were gonna let this happen.” Mark asked me and I sighed**

**“I thought about that day.” I told him and he looked confused -- I shouldn’t be talking about this with him while he’s DRUNK!**

**“What day?” He asked me**

**“October 9th.” I tell him the date of that day and he looked like he got it now, and he sighed**

**“You thought about our breakup while we were making out and about to have sex?” Mark asked me and I chuckle sadly**

**“Yeah.” I say sadly**

**“Why? Why’d you think about it?” He asked me and I can’t believe he’s doing this to me**

**“You want to know why I broke up with you and moved on so quickly?” I ask him and he nodded**

**“Yeah, I do. I’ve been thinking about why you did it, for the past fucking year.” Mark says angry, and I don’t blame him, and I honestly think he’s gonna be even more angry with me now**

**“I uh I c-cheated on you.” I mumble, but it was loud enough for him to hear it “I cheated on you with Taeil.” I continued**

**“You did what?” Mark asked and I could feel his blood boiling from here, or maybe that was just from the alcohol, I don’t know, but he’s pisssed.**

**“Two weeks before our breakup, if you remember I went out to a party and I met him there, and I was so drunk and we actually did more than just kiss.” I tell him and he looked at me and I honestly thought he was going to hurt me because he looked pissed**

**“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Mark yelled finally standing up and I flinched back a little back, because from the way he stood up from the bed, I thought he was hit me**

**“You lied to me for two weeks, saying that you loved me, how you kissed me, and how you cuddled with me, without knowing you were thinking about another man while you were with me!” Mark yelled and I flinched feeling tears well up in my eyes, kind of getting hard to keep them inside**

**From the two years me and Mark were together, he’s never yelled at me before, and to be honest . . . I’m scared.**

**I’m scared.**

**I’ve never been so scared.**

**“Those weren’t a lie. It was the actual truth.” I tell him and he scoffed**

**“Bullshit! You told me on the day we broke up that you fell out of love with me, and you told me that you didn’t love me at all!” He yelled and I started to feel my heart start to pound a little bit, “So don’t you dare tell me, that what you said was the truth.” Mark snapped and I looked at him**

**“It is the truth! I just lied to you, so I wouldn’t make the breakup harder than it was.” I say to him feeling a tear drip down my face, and he then grabbed the collar of my shirt, and he pulled me close to his face, and I felt myself get more scared -- no at this point I’m beyond terrified**

**“You fucking lied to me. You cheated on me. You broke my heart in front of everyone. You hurt me, Lee Donghyuck.” Mark told me slowly and had this dark tone in his voice**

**“I know. I’m sorry --” I say but he shook his head**

**“Shut the fuck up. To think I still loved you. To think I wanted to get back together with you.” Mark says and my heart started to beat faster and it was actually getting hard to breathe now**

**“W-what --” I try to stutter out but he cut me off again**

**“I hate you, Lee Donghyuck, and I never want to see you again.” Mark told me and I just felt myself just freeze and I felt a tear roll down, and he pushed me back and I landed on the bed, and he just walked out of the room, and I heard the front door slam and I just felt my body just shut down, and I felt tears roll down my face and they just kept coming, and I started sobbing, as I felt my chest start pounding and I put my hands over my chest as I felt my heart just breaking**

**Oh god, what the hell did I do?**

**Renjun’s P.O.V**

**I see Mark just walk down the stairs and he looked like he sobered up, but he looked pissed -- no beyond pissed off**

**“Mark --” I started to say but he ignored me and walked towards the door, and he walked out the front door, and slammed it shut. Okayyy, what the hell was that about?**

**“What the hell was that?” Chenle asked**

**“I saw him go up there with Donghyuck about like maybe ten minutes ago.” Jisung says and I widened my eyes, and I moved past all the people and I start running up to the stairs**

**“Renjun --” I heard Jeno’s voice but I ignored it and I tried to look for Donghyuck.**

**When I heard the heavy crying, from Jaemin’s bedroom, I knew it was Donghyuck. I opened the door, and I could see Donghyuck sobbing, while his hands to his chest, and it sounded like he was hyperventilating. Jesus.**

**I ran over to him and I put my hand over his shoulder and he flinched “Please, please, don’t hurt me.” He cried and I was shocked, what the hell happened up here between him and Mark?**

**“Hey, Hyuck, it’s me.” I say and he looked up at me, and I saw how broken he looked and I felt myself get sad a little -- Jesus he looks terrible**

**“R-renjun?” He whispered and I nodded and he jumped up and hugged me and started sobbing again**

**“I fucked up, Renjun! I fucked it all up!” He wailed and I hugged him back**

**“Whatever you did, you didn’t fuck it up.” I say trying to reassure him, but he just whined**

**“No~~ You don't understand!” He exclaimed pushing himself from me and I was so confused**

**“Understand what?” I ask him**

**“I cheated on him!” Donghyuck yelled and I was even more confused. Cheated on who?**

**But then I got it.**

**“You cheated on Mark?” I ask him and he nodded while more tears rolled down his face**

**“I didn’t mean too, I didn’t, I swear. I was drunk when it happened, and ---” Donghyuck tries to say but he kept breathing faster and I knew he was having a panic attack**

**“Hey, hey, calm down.” I tell him but he kept breathing heavily and what he said next really shocked me**

**“I still love him.”**

**A/N**

**Here’s chapter 7!!!**

**Oof I like how a so called smut chapter turned into an angst chapter haha!!**

**It’s not a Raelee story unless there’s angst!!**

**Yeah but I planned to make this story first you would feel bad for Mark, but now in this chapter specifically I wanted you to feel bad for Donghyuck -- did it work??**

**It took me three hours to write this chapter, because the makeout session made me stressed haha!!**

**Yeah chapter 8 is coming tonight!!!**

**DON’T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!**

**[RAELEE]**


	10. ８

**８**

**"ʙɪᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴡᴏʀᴅꜱ ꜱᴘᴏᴋᴇɴ, ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ"**

**Donghyuck’s P.O.V**

**I walked inside my house, still shaking and crying. I really hope my parents aren’t up. They’ll kill me for being home late, and smelling like alcohol. Besides, I just don’t really want to face them now.**

**I was about to walk up the stairs until I saw the light flip on -- shit!**

**“You’re late, Donghyuck.” My mom says and I swallowed the lump in my throat, as I didn’t want to cry again -- my mom can obviously know when there’s something wrong, and she’ll try to bug it out of me.**

**“And we can smell you from over here.” My dad spoke up and I closed my eyes, to feel tears roll down my cheeks**

**“Donghyuck, you know we’re talking to you, so please don’t have your back to us. Look at us when we’re speaking with you.” Mom told me and I sighed shakily and I turned around to face her, and she looked at me with these soft eyes, as she saw my current state**

**“Donghyuck, what happened?” She asked me but I didn’t answer her**

**“Did something happen between you and Mark?” She asked again, and at the mention of Mark’s name, my lip began to quiver, and I began to cry again**

**“Oh my poor baby.” Mom whispers as I walk over to her and I hugged her tightly, and I began to sob into her chest.**

**Mom, had one hand on my back, while the other was on the back of my head, as she had her chin resting on the top of my head, as I just kept on crying in her hold**

**I don’t think I will ever forget what happened tonight.**

**💔💔💔**

***NEXT DAY***

**“Mom, do I have to go to school today?” I ask as I look at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and bloodshot. My cheeks were blotchy with dried tears. And I honestly looked like a whole mess.**

**“I’m sorry but you have too, you’re a senior now, you can’t miss that much school.” She told me and I sighed and nodded and I looked at her**

**“Can I at least come home, if I don’t feel up to it?” I ask her and she sighed**

**“Of course, sunshine.” She says while she had her hands on my cheeks trying to get rid of the dry tears off my face**

**“Okay.” I whispered, and she placed a kiss on my forehead**

**“Okay, baby, it’s time to go.” She told me and I nodded and I walked out of my room, and down the stairs and out the door -- totally not ready for today.**

**I'm in way over my head.**

**💔💔💔**

**Mark’s P.O.V**

**“You’re a complete dickhead, you know that right?” Renjun asked me as he slammed his books down on the table, and I just felt this pounding headache come on**

**“Oh please, don’t do that.” I begged putting my head down on the table**

**“I don’t give a fuck.” Renjun snapped and I looked up at him**

**“What’s up with you?” I ask Renjun**

**“You broke Donghyuck.” Renjun told me and I sighed and I rolled my eyes-- even though I may be hungover, I still remember what I did last night, and I don’t regret any of it -- not even what I said to Donghyuck.**

**“So what.” I say**

**“So what? So what, is that he had a panic attack, you know long Donghyuck had gone on without one, because you helped him not have one, and because of you, he had his first panic attack in three years!” Renjun exclaimed and I widen my eyes**

**Panic attack?**

**I turned my head to see Donghyuck just fiddling with his fingers, and even from here, I could see the tears rolling down his face.**

**I turned back around and I saw pissed off looks coming from each of them. “What are the looks for?” I ask them**

**“Donghyuck, is suffering, because of you.” Jaemin says and he stood up with Jeno following him and those two walked off from the table**

**“Donghyuck, brought this on himself.” I say and Chenle and Jisung scoffed**

**“You’re a real douchebag, you know that?” Chenle asked and him and Jisung walked off as well, just leaving me and Renjun alone together and he looked like he didn’t want to be with me anymore**

**“He still loves you, you asshole.” Renjun says and he stood up and walked off**

**I looked back at Donghyuck’s table, and I saw how he was breaking down, and how Jaemin and Jeno just hugged him on both sides of him, and I saw how he leaned into Jaemin’s arms, just shaking and I sighed softly**

**I hate looking at that sight.**

**💔💔💔**

**I was doing some work on my computer, basically cleaning some old files out, stuff I don’t basically use anymore, and I had clicked on this file and it was a video, and I saw it was me and Donghyuck in the video -- oh god.**

***THIRD PERSON***

**_“Hey, Renjun, is it recording?” Donghyuck asked Renjun who was behind the camera and he nods_ **

**_“Yeah, it’s recording.” Renjun answers_ **

**_“Ahhh, I just want him to hurry up and come back, I want to make fun of his haircut.” Donghyuck laughed which caused Renjun to laugh_ **

**_“You made fun of it at school today.” Renjun says and Donghyuck shrugged_ **

**_“Don’t matter. He’s my boyfriend, I’ll make fun of him when I want.” Donghyuck says_ **

**_“Oh, there he is.” Renjun says and when Donghyuck turned his head and saw Mark walking over to the two boys, holding a plastic bag in his hands. Donghyuck ran over to his boyfriend and jumped into his arms, and luckily the other boy caught him_ **

**_“I guess someone is happy to see me.” Mark chuckled_ **

**_“And he says he was gonna make fun of your hair.” Renjun told Mark and he rolled his eyes_ **

**_“I know. I’ve heard him make fun of it all day today.” Mark says and he put Donghyuck back down on the ground, and Donghyuck had hugged him tightly_ **

**_“I missed you.” Donghyuck told Mark_ **

**_“I was gone for maybe twenty minutes max!” Mark exclaimed_ **

**_“Too long.” Donghyuck muttered and Mark rolled his eyes and laughed_ **

**_“Someone’s clingy today.” Mark says, as he moved with Donghyuck still attached to him_ **

**_“Okay, Renjun, you can end the recording now.” Donghyuck says to the shorter male_ **

**_“How in the hell, do you turn this off?” Renjun asked and Donghyuck groaned_ **

**_“Oh, for fuck sake.” Donghyuck grumbled and he walked over to Renjun and turned off the camera_ **

**Why are watching these videos still hard for me?**

**Even though it’s been a year since the breakup and now it’s officially over with me and Donghyuck, it’s still difficult to watch these videos and not get teary eyed.**

**How could he cheat on me?**

**Just how could he do that to me?**

**A/N**

**Here’s chapter 8!!!**

**A little bit shorter than the last chapter, but I’m getting tired haha!!**

**I know I said I was going to do Monday-Thursday updates, and Thursday is Useless updates, but I will do those tomorrow with 3 updates from Chaotic, and 2 updates from Stay In My Life**

**I can tell you it’s gonna get more angsty from here!!!**

**DON’T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!**

**[RAELEE]**


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